How to Heal Emotional Pain

Emotion Our reaction to physical pain is not the same as our reaction to emotional pain.
For example, when we experience a cut or a broken arm we are very quick to act, and will immediately tend to our wound and progress towards healing. On the other hand, when we are injured at an emotional level we rarely give this wound the immediate attention that it deserves. This is unfortunate because it is actually our emotional pain that has the ability to impact our lives to a much greater degree than physical pain. Unmanaged emotional pain has the potential to affect the way we think, the way we act, and eventually may manifest into physical pain and illness in our bodies.
When we are in pain on an emotional level, most individuals will automatically try to avoid it in an effort to get through the day. As we go about our day-to-day lives, we are often required to put on a smile, whether or not it is indeed genuine. We do a great job of masking our emotional pain while we appear to be happy on the outside. Now this may be necessary in certain situations, such as your place of employment, but it is not healthy to carry on this way. If you continue to ignore these emotions, they will build up within you and eventually reach a point where you feel as though you are drowning in them.
The first step towards healing is acknowledging that pain exists. I firmly believe that we all want to be free from our pain, but many of us don’t know how to do this. Some of us can’t even begin the process of healing because we have built walls around us to keep painful feelings contained within. For example, if you have been betrayed time and time again, you may have buried those negative emotions, only to have them come back and replay when there is an opportunity to trust someone in your life again. Or you may have learned from a young age to keep your emotions deep inside, because you never had a role model who encouraged you to talk. In both of these cases, healing can be delayed because the emotions have been buried deep within you.
After recognizing that pain exists, the next step is taking the time to sit with your pain, and identify where the source is stemming from. For some this may come from the loss of a loved one, or for others it may be some form of abuse that they have endured in their lifetime. No matter what the source of your pain is, once it has been identified, it is time to not only face it, but also to move through it so that healing can take place.
* The above blog is an excerpt from my new book “Born Resilient” which will be available November 2017

Where Do You Allow Your Eyes Rest?

Dot What do you see when you look at this image?
Most people reply with the same automatic response: A black dot.
Why is it that the majority of individuals focus their attention on the black dot opposed to all of the white surrounding it?
Many people have a natural tendency to focus on what is going wrong in their personal and professional lives, opposed to what is going right. If you allow yourself to become absorbed in the drama and chaos that life can bring, it can quickly snuff out any existing light.
No doubt, you are likely experiencing various challenges in your life. However, I also guarantee that there are a lot of things going right in your life.
In order to see the world through a different lens, a shift in thinking needs to take place. One of the best methods to change this perspective is through the use of gratitude. The moment that you are able to sit back and identify areas in your life that you are grateful for, perspective shifts accordingly.
There will always be a reason to be negative, but there will also always a reason to be positive.
Where will you let your eyes rest?

Taking The Time for What You Value

TimeA father returned home from a long day at work, and was greeted by his 7-year-old daughter at the door. She looked up at him and asked him if she could have $5. He was annoyed by the fact that he had just gotten home, and the first thing out of her mouth was a request for money. He immediately replied with a firm “No”, and sent her to go play in her room while he went to his office to work.
After quickly ingesting supper, the father again retreated to his office. At 8:30 p.m. he left his office and made his way towards his daughters room to say good night. As he tucked her in she asked him how much he made an hour. Again, he was frustrated and annoyed over another request for money. The father told the young girl that it was none of her business, and to just go to sleep. The girl’s eyes began to tear, and the father’s heart sunk. In an attempt to make her feel better he told her that if she really must know, he made $22 an hour.
Instantly, the girl’s eyes lit up. She rose from her bed and ran across the room towards her piggy bank. She quickly returned to her bed where she poured out all of her savings and began to count out loud. The father simply watched his little girl sort through the pile of coins and crumpled up bills.
After surpassing the $22 mark the girl looked up at her father with a big smile on her face. Finally being able to afford one hour of his time, she asked if he would play with her tomorrow evening.
What are your priorities?
It is easy to get wrapped up in one’s work, or in one’s own needs. Sadly, this causes us to neglect those closest to us. Our partners and kids are more than deserving of our time.
We get one kick at the can in this life. Time flies, and for those of us with children, they seem to grow before our eyes.
Sit back, and think about how you want to spend your time.

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